“I am done with this marriage. I want out” she told her husband.
He looked at her for a few seconds.
“OK” he said to her.
He went back to continue ironing his clothes.
“You will not stop me or tell me to stay? Will you not fight for me?” she asked.
“I would love to fight with you, but I want to fight with you if you want me to. I can’t fight for you when you’re outside our marriage. We’ve been through this many times” he said.
Silence again erupted.
He looked at her.
“Are you a quitter?” he asked her.
“What do you mean?” she asked in response.
“Tell me one thing you have started and you’ve followed through till the end” he asked.
“I started a business…” she answered.
“Which you dropped off” he reminded her.
“Because I got busy” she said.
“You could have made time. Tell me something else…” he asked.
She thought about it for a while and sat on the bed.
“I can’t believe you are right. I am a quitter. I always quit when things get tough. I dropped out of school, I’ve quit multiple jobs, I have quit on my dreams so many times, I have quit on my business ideas, I have quit on people, I have quit on God, I have quit on the greatness of our children” she said.
“And now you’re about to quit on our marriage” he added.
She looked at him scared.
“You are your own worst enemy. You destroy things that you’re meant to build. You abandon your own efforts. You let fear guide you and that is why you’ve made little progress in life and end up feeling frustrated. You’ve made quitting acceptable and the norm. Honey, challenges will always be there; the sweetness of victory is overcoming those challenges. You are built to withstand toughness but you choose to throw in the towel. Allow yourself to taste victory which will only come if you are patient and consistent” he said.
“How do you know me this much?” she asked.
“I am your husband, remember? Or should I say you’re soon to be ex husband? I can’t force you to stay where you don’t want to. I know the challenges we are facing are very heavy and there seems no end in sight. I know that I have let you down many times. I know that you have cried in this marriage. I just pray that you will not quit on us. Even if you leave, I must tell you your weakness. Maybe out there you will find another man who will treat you better, maybe things between you and him will be exciting at first and then they get difficult just like it happened for you and I. Maybe out there you will enjoy single life more than living in the same house with me. Maybe out there you might start something new, a new business, a new path, a new chapter; but if you do not address your quitting ways, this cycle will keep repeating itself. When will you work with God, the one who begins new work in you and is faithful to complete it? Our God is the God of completion, the God of progress; not premature deaths and abrupt ends” he told her.
She got up from the bed and hugged him, “Please don’t give up on me!” she said crying.
He held her close.
“For a moment there I imagined my life without you and it broke my heart. You and I have come a long way. Yes, these past few years have been tough on us, we’ve been battling issues after issues. For once in my life, I want to have victory, and most importantly victory with you, victory in my marriage. I am ready to put in the effort no matter how tough. If others can have a victorious marriage, why not us?” she said.
“Victory belongs to those who allow God to fight for them and those who stare at challenges and declare bring all you got but I will not quit” he added.
“No man has spoken truth to my spirit like you. God is using you to wake me up and to stop me running away from my self. Help me to break my quitting cycle” she teared up.
“I will be a better husband. I don’t want to lose you. My love, we will pull through this. Years down the line, as we celebrate our victories and grow stronger to handle fresh challenges, you will be glad that you stayed. Me, our children, God will be glad that we kept it together”
Their marriage survived and soon, their marriage thrived. Marriage needs patience and tenacity.
**Don’t Just Know**